The Penis Monologues

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By Denise Noe

The extraordinary success of Eve Ensler’s play, “The Vagina Monologues,” and the controversy around it, make this seem like an appropriate time for a “Penis Monologues.”

Certainly there is a rich source of material in the many conflicting feelings men have around their penises. One area of great conflict is, obviously, in the matter of size. Men whose penises are below average in size – or even quite average – often feel an extreme degree of self-consciousness about the dimensions of their members. This can be source of an agonizing sense of inferiority. Although a penis of just about any size can bring a woman (or another man) to orgasm, many people are not attracted to the more diminutive male organs and may actually express disdain for them, causing much psychic distress for the men who possess them. A man who says his member is about three inches in size has said there are practical problems caused by it with some sexual positions being simply impossible for him to perform or to perform with feeling for his partner.

While the vagina may always be entered and a woman can feign an arousal she does not feel, a limp penis gives the game away for men. Impotency can lead many men to feel inferior and frustrated as well as damaging their relationships or preventing them from forming relationships.

Although men can decide not to have sex however strongly aroused they are, the fact that their penises often become erect for partners men consider inappropriate as well as at inappropriate times is another source of anguish and emotional conflict.

What’s more, possessing a penis means one may be called to dangerous duties those lacking them need only undertake on their own initiative. Every young man who has received a draft notice knows that owning a penis means he may have to endanger his life, limb, and mental stability to serve his country. The men on board the Titanic were called on to sacrifice their lives on the basis of possessing penises so those without could survive.

“The Penis Monologues” could be an emotionally powerful classic.