Compassion for Male Victims of DV Zero

Compassion, Support and Intervention for Male Victims Zero

The National Conference on Family Violence: Health and Justice convened in March 1994. This was 10 years after the first Attorney General’s Task Force on Family Violence. The 1994 conference noted that the problem of family violence in the United States is epidemic and estimated that the annual incidence of family members is at 2 to 4 million for children, nearly 4 million for women, and 1 to 2 million for elder adults.

This conference was co-sponsored by the American Medical Association and the National Institute of Justice. One need not be a National Institute of Justice researcher to note that the 400 professionals and 80 national experts that attended this conference estimated 4 million women were victims. The experts at this conference acknowledged zero men as victims of domestic violence.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) works for major societal changes necessary to eliminate both personal and societal violence against all women and children. The total of males victims acknowledged in the mission statement by NCADV is zero.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline Decade for Change: Final Report notes, “Despite significant efforts over the past decade to address the problem of domestic violence in our country, 33 million American women continue to experience abuse every year. The total number of men who might experience domestic violence victimization appears to be zero .

The May 19, 2006, “Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report ” in the section titled “Physical Dating Violence Among High School Students – United States, 2003” notes, “Among adult women in the United States, an estimated 5.3 million IPV incidents occur each year, resulting in approximately 2 million injuries and 1,300 deaths. The number of IPV incidents, injuries and deaths for men is zero.

The above report noted that dating violence victimization can be a precursor for IPV. It notes that 8.9% of males and 8.8% of females reported experiencing physical dating violence. My home state is Massachusetts. Massachusetts is one of the most politically liberal of states and it is a state that is proud that it stands up the rights of all of its citizens. Jane Doe is the Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence.

The Jane Doe website notes that 1 in 5 female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. The number of male high school students Jane Doe implies, by their absence, is zero .

The number of male victims that the authors of the Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey wanted to interview about IPV victimization was zero . Despite this obvious bias they were allowed to conduct the NVAWS. After reporting that 40% of surveyed women and 54% of surveyed men said they were physically assaulted as a child by an adult caretaker, the authors conclude that IPV is first and foremost a problem for women. Is it possible that the authors over looked another precursor for IPV?

The CDC report, “ Intimate Partner Violence Surveillance: Uniform Definitions and Recommended Data Elements ” (IPVS), documents that the lack of an agreed upon definition of domestic violence limits the ability to properly identify victims at highest risk who need focused intervention and increased services. The victims at highest risk are not the only lost victims. The total times a male victim is mentioned in the IPVS is zero .

In criminal justice training, funded by the USDOJ, the NIJ and the OVW the offender is always referred to as “he” and the victims as “she.” This would seem to amount to zero male victimization. This “implicit association” – males are the offenders and females their victims – remains first and foremost in the minds of those who receive this training and remains when they respond to domestic violence incidents.

Woman falsely reports rape to get day off from work

Story here. Excerpt:

'Rape is a traumatic crime, and when police get a call reporting sexual assault, it's taken very seriously. Police want to make sure that the person responsible for the crime is locked up and prevented from attacking anyone else, but 2% of all rape cases reported are discovered to be false accusations.

Police in Marlow say that's exactly what happened when an 18-year-old woman fabricated a report of rape. Many women who falsely report rapes are seeking attention - good or bad. However, in this case, police say the young woman who admitted to falsifying two rape reports only wanted a day off from work.'

Thousands Protest Dalas Area Rapid Transit

'Over the past three days Dallas Area Rapid Transit has been bombarded with several thousand calls and letters protesting the anti-father domestic violence ads depicted above. Our campaign has received considerable media coverage on television, radio, and in newspapers--see below.

Over 60 Domestic Violence Authorities, Educators, and Mental Health, Medical, & Family Law Professionals have endorsed our campaign against these ads, including some of the world's leading experts on Domestic Violence.

Article here.

If Teen Motherhood Is A Right.....

Why is Teen fatherhood a Responsibility???
by Tony Zizza

The big problem I have with The Tennessean’s September 24th editorial topic of targeting teenage dads, and of course the guest editorials that embrace yet another social government program, is that we’re left with a truly false dichotomy.

That is, teen motherhood is an absolute “right” while teen fatherhood is just a financial “responsibility.” I am so sick and tired of hearing this same old song and dance. Teen mother - good. Teen father - bad. She had no choice but to deliver a baby she cannot afford without taxpayers footing the bill. He had all the choices at hand but now must pay financially through the nose. Not to mention, he must accept that everyone but him decide how little parenting time he actually gets. It’s a disgrace par excellence.

A lot of ink was spilled on September 24th targeting teenage dads. The Tennessee District Attorneys General Conference shouldn’t be in the business of pushing statewide education programs like “What’s The Rush?” More smoke and mirrors. Bait and switch. Teen mothers are told of all the programs that are at their disposal, while teenage fathers have it drilled into their head that if they do not pay what can be confiscatory child support, they will lose the very license they need to actually drive to a job!

Gina Lodge, commissioner of the Tennessee Department of Human Services, has got it wrong in writing “Most teen mothers must turn to welfare.” My question is this: Why don’t most teen mothers do the right thing and turn to adoption? Instead, Lodge tells us “between 75 and 80 percent of all teen mothers turn to Families First, the state’s welfare program to get the support they need to survive.” To survive? Please. Perhaps if the welfare program wasn’t in place, there would be more adoptions or father involvement.

I also disagree with Lodge in writing that “only 55 percent of parents pay their court-ordered support on a regular basis.” Where does this figure come from? What about the fact that some teenage fathers or adult fathers simply cannot afford to pay what can amount to confiscatory child support? But more importantly, it’s a solid fact that when fathers are actually allowed to be, well, fathers, they pay their court-ordered support on time and in full at a rate of about 90 percent.

This being said, teen mothers and government agencies ought to be held criminally accountable when they interfere or withhold parenting time from the father. There’s countless programs and philosophies aimed at once again financially targeting fathers to the point of garnishing wages and tax refunds. Not to mention, public ridicule supported by the state. Incredibly, there are virtually no programs in place to really punish mothers and secure a father’s time with his children.

Why is this? We respect someone as young as 15 to give birth, and they’re emotionally supported. At the same time, we view fathers as ATM machines and dead beat dads. They’re emotionally discarded. We need to stop all the word games and draconian laws aimed only at fathers. Believe me, they want to spend more time with their children. It’s simple. Just ask them.

Let’s start a conversation on not just teen parenting, but what it means to have rights and responsibilities as any parent. Who gets all the financial responsibilities? Who gets all the rights? What are we left with? Why do we automatically assume mothers of any age are more responsible than fathers? Here’s the thing. The last time I checked, mothers are the ones in the news who irresponsibly leave their children in hot cars with the windows rolled up.

Windfall moms join deadbeat dads

By Jonna Spilbor • October 12, 2008

Women on welfare should not be allowed to get boob jobs.

There, I said it.

This was not a topic to which I had devoted a lot of thought. I've rarely, if ever, stood in a grocery line behind a woman using food stamps, so impressed by her saline-filled breasts that I asked for the name of her plastic surgeon.

Recently, however, I stumbled upon a woman who not only managed to afford cosmetic surgery while feeding her family with food stamps, but who literally could write the book on "How To Beat The System and Screw My Ex-Husband All In One Fell Swoop."

She disgusts me. She disgusts me to the point where I am ready to march on Washington wearing a fake-breast costume covered in food-stamp pasties while carrying a blazing copy of the Child Support Standards Act on a stick.

As Lewis Carroll wrote in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," (fitting in more ways than one), I will "Begin at the beginning."

It all started in 1989, when the Legislature enacted the Child Support Standards Act, which remains the driving force in determining parents' child support obligations.

With that body of law, the "deadbeat dad" was officially born, and Maury Povich could be heard rejoicing throughout the land.

The act was necessary for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the need to protect mothers from baby-daddies who planted their seeds without ever tending to the saplings born there from. It should be regaled for that reason alone.

Unfortunately, the act is not without its bugs, and in certain scenarios - particularly those where Dad is not a deadbeat, but rather a hard-working slob who may have fallen on hard times - the flaws in the law can truly undermine the purpose.

For example, when a mother and father live together contributing to a single household, and one spouse loses his job, neither the state, nor the court, nor Superman swoops in to shake the pockets of the non-income-producing parent. In such cases, the family sucks it up to get by. That's life. And sometimes, life doesn't include summer camp.

Once two parents live separate and apart and the non-custodial parent suffers financial hardship, there is little mercy. At this point, the custodial parent can, with the help of the court, put a boot on the ex's throat and use child support as a tool that does little to put food on the table now, and instead serves to increase the financial burden on the already strapped parent.

Compounding that is the sheer lack of oversight in ensuring the receiving parent doesn't spend the money she gets for the benefit of her children on a boob job. I don't care if she did breast feed her young. It doesn't qualify.

One mother did just that. And, this is why I am duct taping the Child Support Standards Act to a stick and dousing it in gasoline right now.

This mother took her ex-husband back to court to increase the amount of child support he was ordered to pay for the care of their 17-year-old daughter.

There wasn't much unusual about that, save for the fact that the child herself was working and well-fed. In other words, there wasn't a real need to raise the support. There was, instead, a desire for Mom to extract as much blood out of Dad as the court would allow. Shocking? Hardly. It happens all the time.

Meanwhile, Mom remained gainfully unemployed, popped Paxil, and collected public assistance. She got a free lawyer, and, get this, was charging the 17-year-old daughter for whom she was collecting child support, rent, though she and daughter were living rent free with Mom's boyfriend.

Dad fought the law, and not surprisingly, the law won.

After the hearing, Mom took her boyfriend out for a lobster dinner, and for dessert, she got breast implants. In my book, there is no bigger thief than a woman who receives assistance to feed her children, and instead uses it to feed her ego.

While the court is permitted to deviate from the Child Support Standards Act for good reason, it too often turns a blind eye to good reason. Especially in this economy, the act should be adhered to - or ignored -in a way that results in justice for all, and not as a windfall for either parent.

She was "100 percent Sure

Story here. Excerpt:

'Michele Mallin said she was "100 percent sure" when she identified Timothy Brian Cole as the man who raped her.

Her resolve never wavered, Ms. Mallin said, until she learned last May that DNA testing had invalidated her 1985 identification. The revelation came nearly nine years after Mr. Cole died at 39 in a Texas prison from an asthma attack.

The memory process works well when someone is shown a face repeatedly. But when the exposure is episodic, "we end up with the gist" of a person's looks, said Dr. Gary Wells, a nationally known expert on eyewitness testimony and a professor of psychology at Iowa State University.

She said she believes that Lubbock police and prosecutors manipulated her by repeatedly describing Mr. Cole as "a low-life hood." The Army veteran had a misdemeanor arrest record in Lubbock for gun and marijuana possession.

From everything she now knows, Ms. Mallin said, the law should not allow prosecutions based on eyewitness identifications without corroboration.

"Obviously, we're human," she said. "We make mistakes."'

Wife Kills Husband and Feeds Him to Children

A woman jailed for life for stabbing her de facto husband 37 times, skinning him and cooking his body parts as a meal for his children has lost an appeal against the severity of her sentence.

Knight stabbed 44-year-old Mr Price 37 times with a butcher's knife before skinning him and hanging his hide from a meat hook in their lounge room on February 29, 2000.

She then decapitated him and put his head in a pot on the stove, baked flesh from his buttocks and cooked vegetables and gravy as side dishes to serve to Mr Price's children.

Husband Cooker Full Story

When things as horrible as this happen in real life, how can women find a book like the one noted below as being funny? If the genders were switched would everyone find it to be so amusing?

Why is kicking a man in the privates portrayed as being funny on TV? Why do men get slapped on TV shows and most people think nothing of it?

Denver mom charged in sex assault on son, 2

A 31-year-old mother was charged today with sexual assault on her 2-year-old son.

Alicia Lee of Denver took photos of herself performing oral sex on her child and then e-mailed them to a friend in April, according to an arrest affidavit.

The e-mails were forwarded to the child's father by a friend July 31. The father reported it to police.

In an April 4 message, Lee wrote to her friend, "Did I tell you about my fantacy (sic) about the baby? It is weird but at times when I change his diaper I think of taking it into my mouth to see his reaction."

In a message the next day, she wrote, "DID IT!!././.He giggled a lot. I think it tickled him. I will try again tomorrow. I think if I do it enough he will get use (sic) to it."

Complete article here

Will & Grace and Women

An ex-gf used to watch Lifetime channel and especially Will & Grace

(the straight girl with the gay guy) and I always thought there was
something weird about her fascination and interest in the show.

I knew it had something to do with the fact that there were men in the
show but they weren't real men.

But I couldn't get beyond that.

Then I read this...thought it was great and wanted to share it...

It is a comment on one of Marc Rudov's columns

"I look to things like chick movies and many shows geared towards women
which are the culprit. I often used to joke that the problem with
Hollywood isn’t sex or violence, it is chick movies like What Women
Want (I often joke that the long and short answer to that question is
that Women Don’t Know and Men Don’t Care) Hope Floats, The English
Patient, Brokeback Mountain or any assorted movies with Sandra Bullock.
If anyone has any other chick flicks for the hall of shame just list
them right here:___________________

The other problem is with shows like Sex In The City, Friends, Will and
Grace and any other sitcom that has come out geared towards women and
hides from them the truths about the differences between the sexes which
leaves them in a state of discontent.

Will and Grace I have often said fuels a certain fantasy many women who
have gay friends that they can turn him straight, marry him and live
happily ever after. But in reality that isn’t going to happen.
The worst thing about going out on a date is to hear a woman talk about her
gay friends which doesn’t interest me at all. Talking about her gay
friends on a date is a good indicator of how misplaced her own sexuality
is.

I once heard Tom Leykis talk about Sex In The city and tell a caller
that the women on the show are virtual lesbians. The characters are so
co-dependent on one another that they are incapable of being in a
relationship with a man. I have said that to women who have responded oh
I just want to see the women get it on with one another which I respond
that they are missing the point. The characters on the show perfectly
demonstrate how so many women have that Princess and the Pea syndrome.
They can’t break from it because they don’t want to.

And women who watch these shows buy into the con which distorts their
perception of men by looking for something that just doesn’t exist."

Rape Case Thrown Out When 'Victim' Sends Accused Cards and Love Letters

Rape Case Thrown Out When 'Victim' Sends Accused Cards, Love Letters in Prison

WINNIPEG, Canada - A Winnipeg man awaiting trial for rape has had all charges dropped after the alleged victim admitted she sent the accused cards and explicit love letters behind bars.

Crown prosecutor Wendy Friesen initially told court earlier this month that the woman adamantly denied sending the letters and that they must have been forgeries.

But after a brief recess, Friesen said the woman changed her story and admitted she had written them.

The woman claimed in the letters that she missed the accused and was pregnant with his child.

The woman had originally claimed the accused broke into her home in October 2007, choked her, forced her to drink alcohol and snort cocaine, and then took advantage of her after she passed out.

Defense lawyer Sheldon Pinx said the woman should be charged with mischief, obstruction of justice or even perjury.

Comment: What sort of moronic prosecuting attorney would have bought that story. Bit I forgot "Women Never Lie about Rape". Oh yeah- I've heard that a million times.

Palin the Impaled

Palin the Impaled by Kathleen Parker

ST. PAUL, Minn. -- If conventions are supposed to be about message discipline and stagecraft, Republicans have been improv street theater to the Democrats' Broadway.

Every day has brought a brand new buzz -- and that was before the convention got started.

Republicans euphoric about vice presidential pick Sarah Palin hardly got to enjoy a news cycle before Hurricane Gustav stole headlines and resurrected the ghosts of Katrina. Then came the news that Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant.

To say that this convention has gotten off to a jaw-dropping start would not be hyperbolic. While Democrats chant, "Yes we can," Republicans have been lip-syncing, "OMG."

There are, of course, other ways to view recent events and Republicans have rallied their best angels. Thus, Gustav wasn't so much an unwelcome interruption as an opportunity to demonstrate priorities: People matter more than agendas.

And so all eyes and resources turned to the Gulf Coast.

Bristol Palin, too, quickly became a humanizing symbol for reckoning and prioritizing. Most Republicans rolled up their sleeves the way families do when trouble comes. Such is life.

To social conservatives within the party, the Palin situation merely underscored the family's commitment to life. Bristol is marrying the father -- and life, indeed, goes on.

From some other quarters, the buzz hasn't been so uplifting. Some bloggers on the left initially suggested that Palin's baby, Trig, was really her grandson. Others have used what should be a private family matter to challenge Palin's preference for abstinence-only sex education.

A notable exception to the ugliness has been Barack Obama, who was both manly and gentlemanly in reiterating his position that candidates' families -- and especially their children -- are off-limits. Bravo. He also reminded Americans that his own mother gave birth to him when she was 18.

Politicizing Bristol Palin's pregnancy, though predictable, is nonetheless repugnant and has often been absurd. It may be darkly ironic that a governor-mother who opposes explicit sex ed has a pregnant daughter, but experienced parents know that what one instructs isn't always practiced by one's little darlings.

We try; we sometimes fail. There are no perfect families and most of us get a turn on the wheel of misfortune.

Were it not for the pain of a teenager who didn't deserve to be exposed and exploited, the left's hypocrisy in questioning Palin's qualifications to be vice president against the backdrop of her family's choices would be delicious. Instead, it leaves a bad taste.

Would anyone ever ask whether a male candidate was qualified for office because his daughter was pregnant?

Some also have questioned whether Palin, whose son Trig has Down syndrome, can be both a mother and a vice president? These questions aren't coming from the right -- so often accused of wanting to keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen -- but from the left.

Did someone switch the Kool-Aid?

Palin is everything liberals have always purported to want for women -- freedom to choose, opportunities for both career and family, a shot at the top ranks of American political life. With five children and an impressive resume, Palin should be Miss July in the go-girl calendar.

There's just one hitch: She doesn't believe in abortion except to save a mother's life. That's hardcore, even for pro-life Republicans, most of whom allow for abortion in cases of rape and incest.

Women who won't budge on abortion have hit fast-forward in their heads and, given McCain's age, consider the risk too great that a President Palin would load the Supreme Court with pro-lifers who would overturn Roe v. Wade. Whether that is a realistic concern is debatable, but what's perfectly clear is that feminism today is not about advancing women, but only a certain kind of woman.

While we're exhausting irony, Palin would have been excoriated as a hypocrite had she or her daughter had abortions. That would have been legitimate and, probably, deal-breaking criticism. By choosing life, the Palins acted in accordance with their public positions and were ridiculed for their honesty.

There may yet be reasons to find Palin an unacceptable vice presidential choice, but making pro-life decisions shouldn't be among them. Her candidacy, meanwhile, has cast a bright light on the limitations of our old ideological templates.

Should Palin and McCain prevail come November, feminism can curtsy and treat herself to a hard-earned vacation. The greatest achievement of feminism won't be that a woman reached the vice presidency, but that a woman no longer needed feminists to get there.

Fathers 4 Suicide

Protester vows to hang at judge's home

A FATHERS’ rights protester is planning to commit suicide by hanging himself outside a judge’s home, the News of the World can reveal.

The unidentified dad is said to be suffering from terminal cancer and “has nothing to lose any more”.

The “martyr” for Real Fathers For Justice—a spin-off of defunct group Fathers 4 Justice—is targeting the judge who denied him access to his kids.

RFFJ campaign director Mike Kelly denied that the man’s grim vow was a crass publicity stunt. He said: “We are actively trying to persuade him to take a different course of action.

“He’s doing it to force the Government to discuss the problems with the family law system.”

Rest of article